Sharon in the kitchen (at last!)

Happy Holidays and Welcome December!

Hmm... what should I say? Being a foodaholic, of course I must mention... FOOD! 

One of the things on my holiday bucket-list is to cook. Yes, I love cooking. Unfortunately, I do not have the patience to make anything that calls for thirty minutes of preparation time (Well, Libras are quite lazy, so yeah), so my so-called “cooking masterpieces” are so easy that even kids may handle it with adult supervision. Anyway, food is meant to nourish your body, ensure your survival and make it happy, so why complicate the matter with complicated recipes which call for a bazillion number of ingredients, slaving over the stove and an uncertain result? I mean, after cooking the complicated food for like two hours or so and the food does not taste good, your hard work will go to waste. Life is too short for that!

Anyway, since food is going to have a large impact on my body, I might as well choose to make simple food from healthy ingredients (Okay, maybe not really squeaky-clean healthy because I still use conventional produce and cooking oil here and there.) Simple food is not always healthy, but healthy food is mostly simple. Complicated recipes usually demand copious amounts of fat, salt, sugar etc. anyway, or a combination of desserts as in marjolaine and Baked Alaska, or a mixture of everything. NOT FUN.

Let's start with snacks and desserts, shall we? Who loves having snacks and/or desserts ALL DAY? Hands up please. (Le me raising my hand now) I am not joking here. I can munch 18 hours a day (six hours for sleep) if not for the random love handles, bat wings and carrot legs. Of course, I must make snacks which can also double up as desserts because food is the best cure for blues. Ha ha. Snacks are also easy to make, rendering it suitable for novice cooks and lazy people who just can't be bothered to be soaked up in thick smoke and kitchen grease.

Excuse me while I share the recipes as well...

#1: Popsicles

Let's face it, this is Malaysia where it is literally summer for all seasons. Naturally, most of us will need a snack to chill. Let's go to BASKIN ROBBINS! How about Haagen Dazs or, for the budget conscious (like me), Walls or Kings? WAAAAIIIIITTT. Look at the label. Sugar, Tartrazine, Emulsifiers, Milk Solids... Okay this is just the tip of the iceberg, but you get the idea. Instead, spend just 3 minutes (I am serious, THREE MINUTES), get your popsicle moulds, load them with frozen berries, frozen fruits or cut fresh fruits, pour in desired liquid like nondairy milk, fruit juice, coconut water etc., freeze for at least two hours, remove from the fridge and eat up. How complicated and energy-draining is that?

This tasted exactly like a popsicle,which was light and refreshing. Duh. If you want something (supposedly)decadent, here they are. Guess the secret ingredient. (Hint: Not cream)

Based on my extensive research in the quest of searching the perfect recipe for the most delicious yet friendly-on-the-figure popsicles, I can conclude that:

1.They are so simple that even idiots novices can do it

2. Two variations: 

   -Dump the fruits into the mould and fill it with liquid. Freeze.

   -Make a smoothie and freeze in moulds

   -Make several multicoloured smoothies. Fill the mould with a bit of the first. Freeze for awhile. Layer with next. Freeze. Repeat the entire process for more. 3 to 4 layers are enough. It will result in a beautiful, multicoloured frozen dessert.

Of course, the last option is way too difficult for me, so I might not be doing it anytime soon. If you have the tremendous amount of patience for it though, congratulations! Go for it.

#2: Lunch salad

Yes, if you do read my blog, you should know that I am very fond of salads and always make them in the campus. I even wish that I can start a salad business if not for the ban on refrigerators and blenders there! 

Repeat after me: NO SAD SALADS! By sad salads, I mean side salads which are comprised of two leaves of iceberg lettuce and a sad slice of tomato as seen in restaurants. No wonder many people dislike salads, well, at least the people around me. NOBODY DESERVES THIS ATROCITY!

Now this is what I call a salad, served with instant rice. Of course I had this in campus. I don't think this salad is mindblowing but at least it's pretty decent with a small head of broccoli, three baby corns, a carrot and some cherry tomatoes, seasoned with herbs. I challenge you to resist salivation if you see FullyRawKristina's salads. I dare you.

I would love to have salad like hers but I doubt I can go through even a quarter of her rainbow-on-a-platter!

This is another campus lunch-mixed veggies salad, fruity salad and failed carrot-potato soup. Talk about 90% fruits-and-veggies meal! Oh yum.

Anyway, this is my salad...

Mixed veggies and fruits salad with Orange-carrot-sesame dressing! I LOVE this dressing because it was sweet, savoury and for holy goodness sake, CREAMY! I only used like two drops of sesame oil for that Asian hint in the dressing. This is definitely my favourite meal salad by far. 

The veggies were coral leaves, tomatoes, carrot slices and bell pepper slices (I used 1/4 of the pepper. I don't really like eating huge amounts of raw pepper). The fruits were apple, orange and mulberries. I topped it off with some crushed walnuts for healthy fats and satiety. I should have used a larger plate instead so that I can make a pinwheel pattern. Whatever. I am eating it so the appearance does not matter (not if you serve me ONLY vegetables, though. I want my veggies in beautiful patterns rather than like a rubbish dump or I won't touch it.)

Dressings can really make or break a salad in terms of taste and nutrition. I will discuss about salad in my dusty blog which badly needs an update later! Stay tuned.

#3: Mega Fruit Bowls

I call these "MEGA FRUIT BOWLS" because there are at least 7 servings of fruit. These may look tiny for hardcore fruitarians but for me as a commoner, this is overwhelming.

For some reason I got constipated despite eating lots of fruits and veggies (At least 5 fruits a day and I don't count my veggie servings) and drinking lots of water. I workout twice a day too. Mum told me to eat lots of fruits. 

By the way, on the left are a whole Korean pear and two bananas with a dash of cinnamon; on the right are two oranges, a Packham pear and around 1/2 cup of mixed berries.

Apparently berries are heaty and cause constipation? I don't know. I love my berries and I have little knowledge on nutrition, if any. God please tell me that berries do NOT cause constipation!

After this breakfast (Around 650 calories), I got hungry within half an hour. My past experiences told me that I do not do well on a meal with solely fruits. I need some nuts in there at least. Fruits are rich in fibre and water but cannot fill me up. WHY?

#4: No-Bake Cookies

The best things in life are always simple: friendship, love, life, precious time, and of course great desserts which can be whipped up in minutes. Behold, my NO-BAKE COOKIES...

I choose Steffi's peanut butter. Granted, it has food conditioners (not good!) but it has the least ingredients (peanuts, food conditioner, salt) compared to other brands around. Plus, Steffi's is the only peanut butter without hydrogenated oil, palm oil and sugar.

I used this recipe but I tweaked it after reading the comments, i.e. reducing the salt, adding chocolate chips, mixing brown sugar and white sugar and adding a pinch of salt. I was glad that my sister loved it! This was actually the ONLY stuff made by me which my sister would actually eat, mainly due to the peanut butter.

There was no such thing as vegan butter in my area, so I used the only butter available which was basically a mix of palm oil and milk fats. It was not that good to the environment, but there was no choice and it was definitely far cheaper than pure butter! I am guilty.

The cookies were sweet and chewy, but I might consider reducing some salt and the sugar. I finished 1/4 of the batch in one sitting. It was SO good that I could finish the entire batch if not for self-control (so-called). Try making this and stop at three.

I used around 1/3 to 1/2 of the recipe because the original yielded a HUGE batch.

My sister loved it so much that I will make it again! Probably I won't just make a single flavour though this time. I might want to vary them like using half oats and desiccated coconut, make PB, chocolate and raisin cookies, add seeds into the mix, etc. That is, if I am hardworking enough for the extra minutes of work.

#5: Dreamy dessert smoothies

If I were skin-on-bones, I would love to gorge on pies and cakes and all sorts of desserts all day long. The problem is that I am chubby. I WANT PIES!

Luckily there are the kind folks in the world who create delicious and healthy dessert smoothies. Thank you folks so much.

Here are my blueberry-pie smoothie and berry-banana smoothie. They are really simple.

Blueberry Pie Smoothie (adapted from this recipe)

1 cup milk (I used cashew milk)

1/2 cup frozen blueberries

1/4 cup oats

dash of cinnamon

soak oats in milk for 5 minutes. Blend all the ingredients. Pour into a tall glass. Sip and enjoy.

I made the cashew milk myself. It fooled my dad into thinking that it was cow's milk! This is a good thing actually-cashew milk must be addictive then. I had to restrain myself from drinking the entire batch.

Best of all, cashew milk is easy. Soak the nuts, add water, sweetener and cinnamon (vanilla extract if you have) and blend. No straining required. Here is the recipe.

Banana-berries smoothie

1 frozen banana

1/2 cup of frozen berries

Optional greens

water

Blend it up. Pour into a tall glass. Sip and enjoy.

See, how easy are these? 

Basically these are what I did during the holidays. I know that this is NOT the end of my so-called cooking adventures. In fact, every day is a learning process. Fingers crossed, I can eventually cook well and make vegan treats when I start to live on my own.

And oh, here's dinner for tonight, which I made with mum. Today is the fifteenth day of the lunar moon, which is a vegetarian day. Vegetarianism is observed by Buddhists on the first day and fifteenth day of the lunar moon, No alcohol, egg and five pungent roots (onion, garlic, shallot, leek and chives) are allowed.

Here it is...

Bon appetit!

Twenty

FLASHBACK TO 23 SEPTEMBER 2014

                It was the very day that I lived the first day of the second decade of my life. I am a teen no more. No more fangirling (Not that I really fangirled that much anyway), no more being drama Queen, no more yelling at anyone, no more splurging on teenage fashion… okay the list can literally go on but long story short:

                I AM MORPHING INTO AN ADULT.

(Google Image)

                Granted, the legal age for anything considered “adult” is eighteen, but hey, I am still a kid at heart and I am not interested in the things commonly regarded as “restricted for adults”-dance clubs, blue films, alcohol… whatever. To me, being an adult encompasses many aspects. For one, an adult must be mature and responsible. He or she should be able to think wisely and make decisions based on the best interests of themselves AND the community around them. Neither should one make decisions that benefit oneself and harm the others; nor one should choose to neglect oneself for the sake of “benefitting the community”. Besides, an adult should pay attention to the details in life, such as relationships, finances, etc. Well, I can go on speaking for three days straight but hey, I am still a student and not really mature enough, so these factors are enough to discredit me from giving lectures on becoming adults, no?

Being an adult does not give you the licence of living a YOLO lifestyle.
Rather, it means a new stage in life, a rebirth, and a precious period to live life purposefully and positively to enjoy life thoroughly, even into old age.
(Image from Google)

                Anyway, let us get straight to the point. My birthday was on a blue Monday, and thank God the quiz for Phonetics and Phonology was postponed, otherwise my birthday would be even bluer. It was the daily routine of a student started all over again: wake up, get ready for class, listen to lectures which qualify as lullabies… daily college student life that is! No birthday song, no, nothing at all. Anyhow, the absence of a birthday celebration did not matter much to me. The day of my coming to Earth is the day my mother’s life hangs at the beam of life and death. Birthday celebrations should, therefore, be better off dedicated to our parents.

                23 September 2014 was one of my most insane days in this year because, like every student in the Second Semester of Degree Year One in IPGKPP, I was struggling bitterly with the then upcoming exhibition for Language Literacy. It was great enough for me to be able to keep my head above the water; survive and work despite sleeping at 1am or 3am throughout the week leading up to the exhibition.  I was glued at the screen of the laptop again when there was a loud knock at my door. It was 9pm. I was thinking: what the HELL are these people up to? I am DARN busy! I opened the door nonetheless.

                “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

                Standing at my door were some of my coursemates with gifts and a slice of carrot cake, while they greeted me with a “Happy Birthday” song. Words could not describe my gratitude. They took the trouble to buy gifts and come upstairs to celebrate my birthday. I could not describe anything else… Thank you so much.

A bookmark given in class, and a gift and carrot cake (Sorry, I ate it halfway when the pic was taken). Thank you so much and be blessed.

                Being twenty means a step towards adulthood. I just wish to be healthy, happy, and able to reach out for the people in need. 

All for a Handstand

                Handstands! Since childhood, I have always admired the grace portrayed by acrobats and gymnasts through their rhythmic and impeccable coordination of their limbs which literally sing beautiful tunes. Every single split, headstand or flip depicts vividly the magic of the human body which, like a paintbrush, dances around the canvas and paints rainbows. Unfortunately, being almost obese for nearly a decade and cannot be bothered to even take a stroll, those beautiful movements only appear in my wildest dreams, and I could only imagine myself doing these artistic moves in my head.

Image sourced from Google. Handstands are really beautiful but demand core and arm strength.

                In fact, I only started being interested in these movements since I picked up aerobics in high school. I was always green with envy whenever I saw my friends performing stuffs like splits and handstands. I told myself: “Why can’t I do it?” They have limbs and so do I, except that I had a little more “buns” and “rolls” hanging over them.  

                So I started attempting handstands ever since, but failed. Giving up is not in my dictionary unfortunately (or fortunately?)

                It was on a day in late June 2014 where I worked out in my hostel room as usual. I tried to attempt a handstand by supporting my body against a chair. All attempts went well until one, where I almost succeeded in a supported handstand and then “WHAM!” it went. There was a loud thud on the ground. There went my left knee. Pain seared through me but I decided that the work out MUST GO ON. I switched to lighter workouts like busy-people workouts on chairs because, guess what, I STILL HAVE THE STAMINA OKAY? Well, the zeal to workout was there except that I was struggling to walk down the stairs. It was no big deal since my knees often screamed for mercy when I climbed the stairs anyway.

                Come nightfall and my left kneecap became as puffed as the head of a Rohan fish. Walking felt like a gymnastics stint. It only worsened as the days passed. I felt like cursing. Why can others do handstands? Why can’t I? Heck, I know that I’m old for such tricks but there are people who only learn these as adults!

                My parents came at the weekend to visit me. The bruise was (deceptively) small, so of course, the ointments brought were meant for small bruises because nobody knew the exact condition of my kneecap. My mum even suggested that light massages would do since it was a light case of injury. To be honest, the injury really did look light-just a normal swollen kneecap. That was where my nightmares began. The massaging proved to be useless because on Monday, I found myself hobbling to the lecture hall. What used to be a five-minute walk looked like at least a hundred miles’ journey. At least I could walk.

That was my left knee, right after the fall.

The left kneecap, about two hours after the fall. Note the bulging appearance.

My injury only came to light while chatting with a friend from Tzu Chi Society. Only when my friends from the society fetched me to the nearby clinic on Tuesday night, 2 July 2014 did I realize the severity of the “minor injury”, when even the doctor at the clinic could not detect the cause and referred me to the Penang General Hospital instead. It was an arduous and restless two-hour wait at the hospital because there was a curfew at my campus which required students to return to the campus by 11pm, whilst we only arrived at the hospital at around 8.30pm! By the time I met the doctor, I got all but a vague diagnosis and strange “treatments”. According to the doctor, my injury was “very bad”, but all he gave was a few colourful pills. I did not understand what the pills could do to my injury but hey, the doctor should be right, alright?

Alas, the injury took a turn to the worse and I was unable to walk at all by Thursday. I hobbled my way to the volleyball court as there was volleyball class in the morning. I excused myself from the session since I could barely walk, let alone perform other “complicated” actions like squats and jumps. That could not go on and my condition got so bad that I had to seek help from a friend to take me to the office to get fetched to the hospital. It turned out that I had a soft tissue injury which happened UNDER my skin. The doctors, who were in fact housemen, actually checked through my injury and bandaged my knee. I could not believe my eyes. The housemen actually checked through my injury while a qualified doctor just dismissed me with some pills? I could just imagine the chaotic scene in the medical world…

Worse was yet to come. I was not allowed to carry out physical activities for a month and I need at least six weeks to recuperate. A MONTH? I could not fathom myself being confined to the chair or the bed for more than an hour a day, let alone being inactive for a month! Oh hell no… Six weeks sounded like six centuries to me. Bye jogging and HIITs, hello to troubling people to stress over my chores!

This is LIBERATING! I don't know if I can ever do something like her though... (Image from Google)

Yes, I was even given a medical leave from 3 July 2014 to 10 July 2014. I could get another week off for my injury, but one week of troubling my friends over homework and missing lectures was beyond my level of patience. I need to study and my friends have their lives too.

POST INJURY

                It had been almost five months since my injury. During my injury, thanks to my immobility, I gained about 10 kilograms within two months. Of course, it took more than two months to lose them all and I am still working on it. My clothes were literally wrapping me like a dumpling. It was torturing and humiliating indeed as I walked around, with people laughing behind my back. "Oh she's gained weight!" "Oh she's too fat to have a boyfriend!" What matters more, though, was the MONETARY FACTOR. If I eventually became too fat for my clothes, I would have to empty my pockets on new but ugly clothes, get mom to sew new skirts (which is like adding salt to wounds as she was already busy and unwell), and may have to see the doctor more. Now THIS is the ultimate insult!

                    That was not the major focus, however. This injury taught me to be grateful and treasure my possessions, be it my wellbeing, material possessions, or the people around me. In this case, my knees and legs are very precious. A hurt knee proved to be a huge handicap because knees support movements; thus when one is injured, locomotion becomes difficult. Imagine being able to only move around by dragging my bottoms or walking with crutches… it was very inconvenient. I salute those who are handicapped but living strong; I realized that I need to respect my body and do not take it for granted. As much as I love to learn new tricks, I need to take baby steps. Rome is not built in a day.

                Without my family and friends, I may have to be hospitalized and give up exercising forever. That SUCKS. The doctor told me that had I delayed my treatment any later, I would need to go under the knife. That translates to-no more strenuous exercises in the future and more troubling for the people around me! I was grateful that there are people who care and provide support when needed... my parents, classmates (albeit some bad hats), friends from Tzu-Chi society, lecturers…

                Remember, be grateful and count your blessings, and treasure them by making the most use out of them and use them as tools towards achieving your dreams. As for learning, learning takes time, so be patient and persevere! Lastly, remember that no man is an island.

                And yes, I will NEVER give up in learning handstands. Maybe I should work on my core strength first, which was only so-so.

Guten Morgen!

 

Good morning!

 

Ah, finally, I can take a nice break from those assignments, although of course, there is that examination to prepare for.

 

Yet, I think I deserve a long rest after three weeks of sleepless nights.

 

Here is a lazy breakfast made of teatime treats and thick chocolate drink, which was actually made of brown rice beverage mix and chocolate drink mix.

 

These two can seriously make a perfect couple. The drink was thick and not too sweet, besides being  sinful-tasting.

 

I am very glad that I found vegan chocolate drink premix which was by Tzu-Chi. Obviously, it is not widely available and it is quite expensive (RM20 for 10 sachets), but it is decadent, very low in fat and made of good ingredients (e.g. rock sugar, red beans, pearl barley, brown rice...) instead of those found in conventional cocoa drink mixes (e.g. cow's milk, maltodextrin, anticaking agents). I bet with a high quality, comes high price. Never mind, this will keep me from enjoying way too much chocolate and teach me to appreciate fine things in life-so, it will be a weekly treat!

 

Plus, it's better to enjoy good things slowly and happily, rather than crappy stuff in a rush. It's better for the mind, body and soul.

 

 

So, here I am again, after two months. I seriously don't know where to start... hmm... but this down-time leaves me with no excuse to blog again, probably with more treats, especially when it is holiday until Monday due to Eid-al Adha.

 

Schönen guten Morgen!

Homemade Ice Cream!

Who does not like ice cream? I don't think that there is anyone who does not love ice cream, right? What better way to chill in a hot, sunny day, especially in places with tropical climate like Malaysia?

Hang on... ice cream is full of fat and refined sugar-double whammy for the waistline and the heart! Cream, sugar and full-cream milk aside, there are lots of weird items in your summer dessert, such as artificial colouring, artificial flavouring, corn syrup, emulsifiers etc. Your body does not recognise these items, which add insult to injury on this already sinful, high-calorie dessert. Worse off, we love being very creative with our ice cream, hence the variety of ice-cream related snacks such as fried ice cream, milk shake, apple pie ala mode with whipping cream on the side...

So, does that mean that you cannot eat ice cream anymore?

Not for me, because I get to make ice cream which is

• clean
• healthy
• cruelty-free (See HERE to unveil the true face of the white, so-called good for your bones drink)
• low-fat
• high in fibre and potassium
• free from cholesterol, rBGH, antibiotics... all sorts of nasty things in the dairy industry that is
• raw (although I am not going raw anytime soon)
• cheap
• most importantly... EASY!

I recently Googled "easy ice cream making" and I stumbled THIS SITE which features one-ingredient ice cream. What? ONE INGREDIENT? I could not believe my eyes. What magic ingredient is that to make ice cream?

You guessed it. The secret lies in this tasty fruit.

(Image from Google)

BANANA!

I was so delighted and intrigued by that idea that I froze four bananas during the holidays. However, I only made the ice cream today because I was quite busy during the holidays. Having visited Cameron Highlands during the holiday, I froze some strawberries as well because I was planning to make ice cream Neapolitan-original, strawberry and chocolate.

To protect the blender, I peeled and sliced my bananas into moderately-thick coins before freezing them.

For those who like banana, you can freeze them when the skin of the bananas are brown and spotty, i.e. the bananas are very ripe. For those who prefer a mild flavour, however, you can process them when they are just ripe, i.e. no spot on the skin yet.

I am a die-hard banana fan, so you know what I did.

When I was about to use them, I thawed them in the fridge for around thirty minutes so that they are blender-friendly and not too soft at the same time. There is just one step needed:

BLEND IT!

That's right! Just blend the frozen banana coins until they are frothy. Take care not to let your blender run continuously though, because your blender might burn. I paused the blender a few times.

I blended the entire batch first, then leave half of the batch for some added fruity goodness-10 strawberries. That explained why the strawberry ice cream was more than the original flavour ice cream.

The freshly-blended ice cream.
Left: original. Right: strawberry.
I attempted to use rolled aluminium foil to make "compartments but got busted by mum. Boo...

The freshly-made version had a consistency like a smoothie. Yummy! Plus, it tastes really like soft ice cream, minus the overpowering sweetness, just natural sugar from the banana.

To be honest, it beats the smoothies at the smoothie bars and cafes hands down, in terms of taste and nutritional value.

Next time, I am SO going to make fruit smoothies in place of my usual daily oatmeal for breakfast.

The ice cream after being frozen for three hours. The appearance reminded me of mustard and ketchup LOL

How wrong I was. The bananas were too less for three flavours, so I only made two flavours: original and strawberry.

I had the ice cream as a post-dinner dessert-well, just about two teaspoonfuls of each flavour because I cannot consume lots of cold food. My dad and mum sampled them. Here are the responses from my family members:

SISTER: This reminds me of the supersized version of mustard and ketchup for fries! No thanks, I hate bananas. (So sad...)

MOTHER: It tastes FRUITY!

FATHER: Am I eating ice?

(No picture because mum does not allow me to take pictures of food, so I only get to take pictures when mum's not around. Shh...)

...

My ice cream was not very successful because it resembled ice pops or ice lollies rather than creamy ice cream. However, when I thawed it a little, it has the consistency of sorbet (at least it is a type of ice cream, right?), thank goodness. 

Mum told me to add in DAIRY MILK next time. Yikes! I will rather stick to bananas manifested in creamy frozen form than a dessert filled with pus, growth hormones and cruelty! Dad even asked me to add in sugar. As if bananas were not sweet enough...

Probably my family cannot accept the idea of dairy-free ice cream. It is alright, I will have them by myself, thank you very much!

I enjoyed it however, and I will definitely make this next time, though not in the near future. Probably if I live on my own, I will make large batches of this nice-cream (nice-cream because this ice cream is good for health and animals, took that nickname from FullyRawKristina) in different flavours. In this way, I can enjoy guilt-free ice cream for cheap, minus those icky additives.

I think I have to freeze the entire bunch of bananas next time so that I can get creative with them and have more healthy ice cream varieties to enjoy, guilt-free. This experience taught me to be patient too. I have to wait for the nice-cream to thaw so that I can actually taste the creaminess of this dessert.

By the way, you can adjust the ice cream to taste. Here are my suggestions:

• For fruity ice cream, I suggest using berries because they are juicy and freezable, such as strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. Frozen berries taste like candy on their own-well, they are INDEED candies, from Mother Nature.
• You can add cocoa powder, Nutella or Milo for a chocolatey-kick. The last two ingredients will render the ice cream non-vegan though because they contain dairy.
• Mix, mix, mix! Mix in chocolate chips, nuts, dried fruits or even any combo (how about ALL?) for a chunky ice cream.
• Drizzle it with cinnamon and honey. Again, for vegan version, use maple syrup in place of honey.
• Add in ground sesame for sesame ice cream which is high in calcium.
• Add in nut butter for extra protein, healthy fat and creamy texture.

You can create your own flavours too!

Otherwise... just leave it as it is, or have several flavours combined for double scoop, triple scoop... How about a bona-fide banana boat, with triple scoops of ice cream and a ripe banana sliced lengthwise at the side, topped with dried fruits, nuts and cherries? Don't tell me that you are using hundreds-and-thousands or maraschino cherries. They are artificially coloured and God knows what is used to make them. Ew.

(Image from Google)

Note to Form 3 Students

Hey all! 

It's nearly lunchtime at the time I write this post, so here's a plate of fried rice for you.

Just a simple and short post for today because I need to catch up on my lessons. Degree year is tough, really!

Okay, I just recently noticed a sudden surge in the page views of my blog (more than 200K now!), thanks to the Form 3 students visiting my blog for my essays which I wrote three years back. They mainly visit my blog for their PT3 (Pentaksiran Tingkatan Tiga), which is an assessment for Form Three students, replacing PMR. I am glad to be able to help those who are preparing for the exams. I had been there as a PMR candidate back in 2009 and I referred to blogs for essays samples, a LOT.

Here is my little shout-out to all of you:

1. Feel free to request whatever essays you need help in, be it in English, Chinese or Malay.
2. I will write the full essay IF I HAVE THE TIME, otherwise I will just write in point-form and provide related idiomatic expressions, "peribahasa" and bombastic words that you can use.
3. Besides from being able to help, I need to practise my writing skills as well, being a future language teacher and a writer (hopefully).
4. However, I will publish my essays in my second blog: http://nonsensical-orator230994.blogspot.com
5. This blog will be used for poems and diary from now on.

You can contact me through the chatbox or email me at

masha9496@gmail.com

Be sure to leave your email address or I will not entertain your request because, you know, there is no way I can contact you through other means besides email. I do not want you to spam my Facebook as well!

Please, please, please don't ask me on subjects which are not related to languages, such as Mathematics, Science and for God's sake, HISTORY! I am very weak in these subjects, and my future career will be very language-inclined. Thus, in order to help you and help me for my assignments, 

ONLY LANGUAGE RELATED MATTERS ARE ENTERTAINED.

Thank you!

Language Acquisition vs Language Learning

This poem is actually one of my ELT tutorial project with some of my coursemates. Enjoy!

* “Sagen Sie mir, wo ist dein Song,

Sie können in der Klasse schlafen?“

How can I learn it,

When nobody speaks to me?

How can I learn Deutsch,

When all speak in English and French?

How can I write a song,

When I get my Subject-Object-Verb all wrong?

I was born in the country with the Sun to see,

And after a winter I learned my A-B-C.

“A is for apple, B is for boy;

C is for cow, and D is for donkey!”

Papa taught me ‘Alphabets Song’,

Mama taught me ‘Old Mc Donald’,

So I babbled in English as long as I grow old.

Then I want to make wedding gowns,

So I flew to Paris.

‘Bonjour!’ ‘ Merci!’ God, help me!

I even pronounced ‘croissant’ as ‘croy-sen’.

The Parisian gave me that stare (Ha Ha Ha),

But thank God, French words grace the streets.

When I speak in English,

They replied in French instead,

*“excusez-moi?”

The French pronunciation is like a Rubik cube,

Fun to explore, pain to solve,

By rolling my tongue into a ball,

To talk more and erase my woes, once and for all.

The French pronunciation is like a Rubik cube,

But it is peanuts, as when I learn German off YouTube,

I talked to all but a huge eye piercing screen,

With no friend to talk to but a mirror to preen.

So I pranced down the streets of Berlin,

When I say *“Guten Tag”, they replied “How are you”!

* Translation: “Good Day.”

Like a wandering monkey in the alley,

I tried, in vain, to look for a German-speaking ally,

So I went to a class and bought many books,

And burned the midnight oil to get my language right,

Even a *“Zwei Frühstücks” cannot show its might!

“Sagen Sie mir, wo ist dein Song,

Sie können in der Klasse schlafen?“

To write a song, a city of aliens,

Is like me, drowning slowly, into the deepest seas.

Down, down, and down,

Unless if someone rescues me, speak to me. 

*1. Translation: “Tell me, where is your song,

              You can sleep in the class?“  

*2. Translation: "Excuse me?"

*3. Translation: “Good Day.”

*4. Translation: “Two breakfast.”